Ignore jerk comments. Black porn You left some great possibilities open for a second chapter. This needs a lot of work before it is readable.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-29 01:05:57Hmmm… Second, please don’t leave us wondering what the two girls in the bathroom were up to. grammar was atrocious. Words were very strange, like using “defiant” instead of “definite” over and over implying it’s not merely a spelling error but some confusion on your part. grammar was atrocious. Remember that it is always easier for people to criticize and insult than to actually work and (god forbid) think. As I said before – good, creative story. 4 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-29 13:05:29Well. … As I said before – good, creative story. You left some great possibilities open for a second chapter. I have two suggestions. It will smooth out your style and make the story more “comfortable” to read. This needs a lot of work before it is readable.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-29 01:05:57Hmmm… Thanks for committing your time and effort to the art of writing and keep writing!anonymous readerReport 2013-09-28 20:38:55Yeah, maybe actually finish primary school before attempting to write.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-28 20:18:57Very good story!
